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Early Modernist Love: Millay's "I, being born a woman" and Frost's "Love and a Question"
Early Modernist Love: Millay and Frost
The AQA Post-1900 Love Poetry Anthology opens with poets writing in the early decades of the twentieth century, a period of radical transformation in how love, desire, and gender were understood. Edna St Vincent Millay and Robert Frost both write within inherited poetic forms — the sonnet and the narrative lyric — yet they use those forms to interrogate rather than simply to celebrate romantic love. This lesson examines how modernist sensibilities reshaped love poetry at the very start of the century that the anthology covers.
Edna St Vincent Millay: "I, being born a woman and distressed"
Context (AO3)
Millay published this sonnet in 1923, at the height of the American Jazz Age. She was a central figure in the bohemian culture of Greenwich Village, New York, openly bisexual at a time when such openness was genuinely dangerous. Millay was also a committed feminist — she was closely associated with the suffrage movement and the broader push for women's sexual and intellectual freedom.
The poem must be understood against the backdrop of first-wave feminism: the Nineteenth Amendment, granting American women the right to vote, had been ratified only three years earlier in 1920. Millay was writing in a moment when women's autonomy — political, economic, and sexual — was fiercely contested.
Form and Structure
Millay chooses the Petrarchan (Italian) sonnet, a form historically associated with male poets expressing desire for an idealised, often unattainable woman. By appropriating the form, Millay performs a feminist subversion: the speaking subject is a desiring woman, and the object of desire is a man whose attractions she analyses with cool, almost clinical detachment.
The octave (lines 1–8) describes the physical experience of desire. The sestet (lines 9–14) delivers the rational rejection of that desire's emotional claims.
Close Analysis
The opening line — "I, being born a woman and distressed" — establishes the poem's central tension. The word "distressed" operates on multiple levels: it refers to sexual arousal ("distressed" by physical need), but it also carries the older meaning of being placed under duress or constraint. The speaker is "distressed" by her own biology — by the fact that being "born a woman" comes with culturally imposed expectations about how desire should be experienced and expressed.
The phrase "by all the needs and notions of my kind" is deliberately ambiguous. "Needs" suggests biological compulsion; "notions" suggests social constructions — ideas about how women should feel. The juxtaposition implies that the speaker cannot easily separate nature from culture: her desire is simultaneously physical and ideological.
In the octave's most striking image, the speaker describes being "urged by your proximity to find / Your person fair, and feel a certain zest / To bear your body's weight upon my breast." The language is strikingly physical — "weight upon my breast" is an image of sexual intercourse presented with unusual directness for a female poet in 1923. Yet the tone is analytical rather than passionate: words like "proximity," "certain," and "zest" maintain intellectual distance. The speaker desires the man but refuses to romanticise that desire.
The volta (turn) at line 9 is devastating: "Think not for this, however, the poor treason / Of my stout blood against my staggering brain." Here the speaker explicitly names the conflict as one between body ("blood") and mind ("brain"). Desire is a "treason" — a betrayal of rational autonomy. The adjectives are crucial: the blood is "stout" (strong, robust), while the brain is "staggering" (struggling, unsteady). The body is winning the physical battle, but the mind will win the war.
The closing couplet — "I find this frenzy insufficient reason / For conversation when we meet again" — is coolly dismissive. Sexual desire ("frenzy") is not enough to justify an emotional relationship ("conversation"). The speaker will sleep with this man but will not love him — a reversal of the conventional gender dynamic in which men were assumed to pursue sex while women pursued commitment.
Different Interpretations (AO5)
- Feminist reading: The poem is a declaration of female sexual autonomy, reclaiming the right to desire without obligation. Millay subverts the Petrarchan tradition by making the woman the desiring subject and the man the disposable object.
- Biological essentialist reading: Some critics argue that the poem actually reinforces a deterministic view of female sexuality — the speaker is "born" into her condition, suggesting that gender is destiny rather than construction.
- Postmodern reading: The poem can be read as an early performance of gender — the speaker adopts a "masculine" attitude to sex (detachment, refusal of commitment) precisely to expose how such attitudes are gendered constructions rather than natural behaviours.
Robert Frost: "Love and a Question"
Context (AO3)
Frost published this poem in his first collection, A Boy's Will (1913). Although Frost is often associated with the American rural landscape and a deceptively simple style, his poetry is profoundly concerned with philosophical and moral ambiguity. He wrote during a period when the certainties of Victorian morality were being questioned but had not yet been replaced by any new consensus.
Frost's New England setting is important: the poem draws on a tradition of rural hospitality and the moral obligations of community, but it places those obligations in tension with the private claims of romantic love.
Form and Structure
The poem is a narrative ballad in six stanzas of four lines each, using an ABAB rhyme scheme. The ballad form connects the poem to oral storytelling traditions — tales of wanderers, strangers, and moral dilemmas. The regular metre (predominantly iambic tetrameter) creates a surface calm that contrasts with the moral unease beneath.
Close Analysis
The poem presents a seemingly simple scenario: a bridegroom on his wedding night is approached by a stranger seeking shelter. The stranger represents suffering, poverty, and the claims of the wider world. The bridegroom must choose between the private happiness of his marriage and the moral obligation to help a fellow human being.
The opening stanza establishes the stranger as a figure of need: "A Stranger came to the door at eve, / And he spoke the bridegroom fair." The word "Stranger" is capitalised, giving the figure an almost allegorical quality — this is not merely a person but a symbol of all those who are excluded from the warmth of domestic happiness.
The bridegroom's response is deeply ambivalent. He gives the stranger "a dole of bread" and "a purse" but does not invite him inside. The word "dole" is significant — it suggests charity reluctantly given, a minimal obligation met without genuine generosity. The bridegroom pays off the stranger rather than welcoming him.
The final stanza crystallises the poem's central question: "But whether or not a man was asked / To mar the love of two / By harboring woe in the bridal house, / The bridegroom wished he knew." The word "mar" is crucial — it means to damage or spoil, and it echoes the word "marry" phonetically. The poem suggests that love and suffering are not opposites but neighbours: to marry is potentially to mar, and the exclusion of suffering from the "bridal house" may itself be a moral failure that undermines the love it seeks to protect.
Frost's characteristic ambiguity is at its richest here. The poem does not answer its own question. The bridegroom "wished he knew" — the conditional tense suggesting that moral certainty is permanently unavailable. Love, in Frost's vision, does not resolve moral complexity but intensifies it.
Different Interpretations (AO5)
- Moral reading: The poem is a parable about selfishness — the bridegroom's failure to welcome the stranger reveals the essential narcissism of romantic love, which creates a closed world that excludes the suffering of others.
- Sympathetic reading: The bridegroom's dilemma is genuine and unresolvable. He cannot be blamed for wanting to protect his wedding night, and his awareness of the moral problem ("wished he knew") demonstrates conscience rather than callousness.
- Allegorical reading: The stranger may represent Christ (echoing the parable of the Good Samaritan or the injunction in Hebrews 13:2 to entertain strangers, who may be "angels unawares"). If so, the bridegroom's failure has spiritual as well as moral dimensions.
Comparing Millay and Frost
| Aspect | Millay | Frost |
|---|---|---|
| Attitude to love | Love as physical desire, rationally assessed and ultimately dismissed | Love as private happiness, morally complicated by obligations to others |
| Form | Petrarchan sonnet — subverted from within | Narrative ballad — traditional but morally ambiguous |
| Gender | Feminist subversion of the male gaze | Male perspective, but the bridegroom's authority is questioned |
| Tone | Intellectually detached, controlled | Deceptively simple, deeply uncertain |
| Central tension | Body vs mind; desire vs autonomy | Private love vs public obligation |
Exam Preparation: Key Points
- AO1: Both poets use inherited forms (sonnet, ballad) but deploy them to question rather than affirm conventional attitudes to love.
- AO2: Close attention to individual words ("distressed," "dole," "mar") reveals layers of meaning beneath apparently straightforward surfaces.
- AO3: Both poems are shaped by their historical moment — Millay by first-wave feminism and the sexual revolution of the 1920s; Frost by the erosion of Victorian moral certainties in early twentieth-century America.
- AO5: Both poems resist single interpretations. Millay's cool detachment can be read as liberation or as a mask for vulnerability. Frost's ambiguity can be read as moral cowardice or as intellectual honesty about the limits of human understanding.