Show, Don't Tell

"Show, don't tell" is perhaps the single most important piece of writing advice you will ever receive. It is the technique that separates average writing from outstanding writing — and in the CSSE 11+ exam, where creative writing is so heavily weighted, mastering this skill can significantly boost your marks.

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What Does "Show, Don't Tell" Mean?

Telling is when you simply state a fact or emotion directly:

She was sad. The house was old. He was brave.

Showing is when you use description, actions, dialogue, and sensory details to let the reader work out the fact or emotion for themselves:

A tear slid down her cheek and she turned away, pressing her hand against her mouth so no one would hear.

The paint was peeling from the window frames and the front step had crumbled so badly that weeds grew through the cracks.

He stepped forward, his chin raised, and looked the bully straight in the eye.

When you show, the reader experiences the story. When you tell, they are just being given information. The examiner wants to see that you can show.

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Why Does It Matter for the CSSE Exam?

The CSSE extended writing task is one of the most heavily weighted parts of the exam. Examiners are specifically looking for:

• Vivid description that creates pictures in the reader's mind
• Well-developed characters whose emotions we can feel
• Sophisticated writing techniques that go beyond simply listing facts

"Show, don't tell" is the technique that delivers all three. It is what turns a competent piece of writing into an impressive one.

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The "Show, Don't Tell" Toolkit

Here are the key methods for showing instead of telling:

1. Physical actions and body language

Instead of naming an emotion, describe what the character's body does.

Telling	Showing
He was nervous.	His fingers drummed on the desk and he could not sit still.
She was excited.	She bounced on the balls of her feet, a grin spreading across her face.
He was angry.	His jaw tightened and he gripped the edge of the table until his knuckles turned white.

2. Sensory details

Use the five senses to put the reader in the scene.

Telling	Showing
It was a cold morning.	Frost laced the edges of the window and her breath hung in the air like smoke.
The cake was delicious.	Warm, rich chocolate melted on her tongue, sweet and velvety, and she closed her eyes to savour every bite.

3. Dialogue

Let the character's words and tone reveal their feelings.

Telling	Showing
She was upset with him.	"Don't talk to me," she said, her voice flat and cold. She did not look up from her book.
He was surprised.	"You — what — how did you get here?" He stared, his mouth hanging open.

4. Metaphor and simile

Use figurative language to create vivid comparisons.

Telling	Showing
She felt trapped.	The walls of the classroom seemed to close in around her, pressing tighter with every passing minute.
He felt free.	He ran across the field, arms wide, the wind rushing through him as though he were made of air.

5. Setting and atmosphere

The environment can reflect a character's feelings (this is called pathetic fallacy).

Telling	Showing
She felt lonely.	The playground was empty. A single swing creaked back and forth in the wind, and the sky above was a flat, endless grey.
He felt hopeful.	Sunlight broke through the clouds and painted the wet grass gold. A blackbird sang from the top of the fence.

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Before and After: A Full Paragraph

Telling (weak):

Tom was scared when he went into the cave. It was dark and he did not like it. He felt cold and wanted to go home.